think_confidentiality

我累了。我真的累了。

事情一坡为平，一坡又起。

Everything started out fine except for some crappy data that we need to churn out. But all this is okay as long as there's no complains. Encik gives our team a meeting for update of what is happening in our team since he is taking over us in a few weeks time. It's rather pity for him that he has to take care of 2 branches and he is unknown of anything at all. But it's nice to have him around though.

Everything went well until at 5pm when boss came out and asked who is the one handling this unit. It's 5pm, a time where i thought i can go home peacefully on a Monday. I went into his office and he told me to tell him what happened. Fuck!!! Damm fuck up. Another complain case and it's the 3rd one in 2 weeks. I can't believe it. Depressing and pissed at myself.

Why is it that when people got approved for their case and they still complain. Fuck up. And for this case, it does not entirely concern me at all. It's just that he is under my unit and i am take charge of the unit. i didn't even see the case at the beginning. How it started, i also not sure. All i noe was how it ends.

The thoughts of AWOL-ing/ hurting myself starts to flood my mind. No matter how perseverance I am, the more i can't take it.

I may be smiling at times but my smile started to fade. I find my smile becoming fake. I just smile for the sake of smiling. That's what i feel on the train just now.
It's such an irony... i was telling my friend last month, that i smile to make other people happy and now i found my smile to be a fake. People feel happy, but i feel depressed. The paradox of life. You can be happy sad at the same time.