think_confidentiality

Pitfall, screwed up, fuck up, shit happens...wateva u name it.

Recess week in the middle of the semester is truly a bad thing for me. Though i managed to catch up on my tut and work, but work is hell piling up. Just completed one proj ytd and here comes another one. And to add on to my misery, there's a math quiz next week with the submission of my lab report this thur. wtf...

Talking about the proj i just completed with my grp, it's shitty. Not that i don't lyk grp work, it's just my grp. To be honest, i lyk grp work but not to the extent of this grp. First, silence is always hard to break. I have tried very hard to start a conversation going but no matter how hard i tried, there will be a long silence after lyk 2 or 3 sentences. Truly sad.

My grp members, one who hardly spoken more than 10 sentences in our discussion; one who has a mentality of individuality and try to get things done her way; the other 2 are okay. Worst thing, i am the only guy. Not that i don't lyk girls but in a proj grp of uneven gender distribution, it become so bias. Think of this way, if you are the only girl in the grp of guys, you would feel different. And these girls have been together for quite some time already. Wat abt me ? Just known them for less than 48 hours, and don't even noe their name until i went forward to them.

Talking about the girl with a sense of individuality, she is so tactical. Quiet and dangerous. Wateva points i gives, she rephrases it and made it her point. Worst still, she add on points tat i don't accede to. Den today, as a discussion for the next proj, she remains silent. Looking at her, i noe tat she got something in mind but don't wish to voice it out and remain quiet all the way. What can i say... Till now, guess her nationality (my grp is multi 'racialism' with girls from different countries...hhee).

Haizzz... Shall not tink abt it anymore, shld continue with my last min work (lab report). What a busy schedule.

The recess week is here. But I don't feel any mood at all. I failed to resist the temptation of watching anime, doing other stuffs rather than studying.

I feel that it's better for me to go back to school and study alone outside instead of staying at home with the temptation of playing. It's true that i have curb my intensive playing of my PSP after i completed "God of Wars".
But some sort of other, i feel weird staying at home studying.

However, when i wanted to go out and study, there will be some insecurity that i left out something at home which i needed for studying. Hence, a kind of confusion arises.

One philosophical saying from my friend, 'How can you be confused when u know you are confused.'

Now, i don't even know whether i am confused or not. All the work, all my goals and all my fun are intertwined with knots, waiting for me to untie it.

Will I be able to differentiate each and solve the mystery within myself. The worst enemy of all: myself.

I recently attended one talk on entrepreneurship and the speaker said that we all live in a subconciousness world and you have to realised what it is in order to wake up from your dream. A very interesting speaker.

I tink I should make a timetable for myself in order to know what is happening to me.

After been through army, den working life and now schooling, i feel completely stupid now.

I don't know wat made me feels stupid. Is it the 2 years of monotonously torturing army life or the way the school's lecturers and tutors convey their knowledge to us. I am not talking about every single one but mostly the foreign talents, esp the chinese.

They are indeed talented in a way tat they can get the status of an assistant professors or higher, or in anyway, higher than me. But what pissed me off is the way they taught in lectures and tutorials, as in their speech. They speak english, yup, but it doesn't sounds english nor singlish to not only me but many people. Den it started to trigger me why there are so few local lecturers. Are they in other fields of studies. I wondered.

But if you asked me, i would not be a teacher too.


My recess week has started officially... Hooray!!!

But tat means, i have to catch up on my tutorials, lab report (which i don't lyk the GL lecturer), project, reflective papers. How i wished exams are over.
Things to do after my exams:
1. Go on a holiday... any takers?
2. Work
3. Get my license before school terms starts